I have been trying to decide what my first post should be about and I think I should probably start with me and why I am starting a blog. This is the scariest thing I have ever done in my life as I am used to closing myself off from people, even people I love. Family, friends coworkers are all held at a distance. I am working on breaking the barriers down but it will take some time. I am afraid of needing someone and they not be there for me. I am afraid of showing people that I can be weak. I am afraid of showing peole who I really am. I am so used to being strong and helping everyone else that I try not to let people help me. I have trouble asking for help. I also find it hard to tell people my thoughts, dreams, fears just about anything. I am also shy which makes it hard to meet people and talk to people in social settings including people I know. I try to avoid any social gatherings as I feel that I fail at it everytime. I have imposed these high expectations on myself that I can never measure up to them. I am the person in the corner observing everyone else unless I am drinking. With alcohol the fear is gone and I am able to be fun. I want to find the fun me without a drink. I am hoping this blog can help me open up and stop closing myself off to everyone. I am hoping to show people through my blog who I really am. I feel that people don’t get to see the real me because I am afraid to show them. I can be funny, caring and nice but I feel that people only see the exterior I portray. The facade that I show them. I love to dance and will dance to anything even commercials. I will dance to music in the distance but people don’t get to see that as I only do that when I am in my home. I need to let the fun me out and I need to show peole who I really am. It is scary and I am afraid people won’t like the real me but it must be better than avoiding people and not letting them in. My hopes for this blog is that I can show people who I really am and learn to open myself up to them and to new experiences. I need to find my confidence again as I seem to have lost it a long time ago. I hope you will take this journey with me in self discovery and hopefully fun. I will be writing about anything and everything including shopping, crafts, renovations, shoes, clothes (shoes especially), they are my weakness. I will tell you that I am a mother of a seven year old and she is the light of my life. She is the best thing to have ever happened to me. She makes me laugh daily. She is fun, funny and she makes me feel lucky every moment and blessed. My husband is also fantastic and very supportive. When I told him I wanted to start a blog he said ok. He had no judgement or criticism. I am very lucky to have them both in my life. I give thanks for them everyday! With them I am freerer than with anyone else. we laugh all the time. We are silly together and I can let my hair down in front of them and with no judgement. What I hope you get out of my blog is to know that we all have our issues and problems to overcome and maybe we can overcome some of them together. Maybe we can have some fun along the way as well. I hope you enjoy my blog and until my next post have a great day/night! talk to you soon!