Hey Everyone,
I hope you all had a great weekend. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. What should I do? Now that I am unemployed it has sparked a lot of questions. Where do I go from here? What do I want to do in my life for work? I have been thinking of the last year and the problems and issues that keep coming up in my head.
The last year wasn’t all bad. I keep thinking when did it all change? My home life is great but I don’t always see it. I take my life and my family for granted sometimes. i forget how lucky I am. I think about how I can change that. How can I show that I really do appreciate them? I really hated where I was working and that pain started just before Christmas. The unresolved feelings keep coming up and they are holding me back.
I was promised something during the interviews and I made it very clear that this was important to me. I would not travel outside of Ontario for work. I needed to be home every night. My family was and is important to me and I would not jeopardize that. I was promised that the Montreal locations would be given to someone else. That did not happen. Actually on my first day I was told that the move would happen before the end of the year. That did not happen. I was told in October that I would have to go out to Montreal and I explained that I would not be going.
I was told again in December that I would have to go out to Montreal and that it would have to be done in 2019. That is the day I told my husband that I would be fired in 2019 because I would not go to Montreal. I blame myself because I should have had them put it in writing but I accepted their word as truth. I do that a lot. I believe that people say what they mean but that is not the case. I trust people too easily. When I am let down, I attack myself for trusting the wrong person.
When other people make mistakes, I make excuses for them and in some cases have taken the blame for them. I tell people that it is ok to make a mistake and that is how we learn. I don’t do the same for myself. I am too hard on myself and I know that but how do I take my own advice.
People point out my mistakes or tell me I should have known better and my response every time is, “they are right”. I never tell myself that I am only human and allowed to make mistakes. I need to stop seeing everything I do with tunnel vision. I need to learn to allow myself to make mistakes. I need to learn to forgive myself and to let go of these feelings.
I am looking to start some mantra’s, I haven’t decided which ones I should work with but I will start looking to see which ones work for me. Do you have any mantra’s that you like to use? Any advice on accepting ones mistakes as learning curves? message me if you have anything you would like to say? Maybe we can help each other.
Until next time, come back tomorrow, I will be starting Review Wednesday. I will pick something and write a review. If you have anything you would like reviewed, let me know.
Ruthie J